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Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Letter To No One.

Dear You,

We wait all day, all summer, all year for the perfect moment, the perfect time, the perfect day, the perfect summer  - and here it is, tapping us on the back of the shoulder but we wait and wait. For a moment today I saw it. I saw that here is the breathtaking summer I wished I would have. More on that later. And while winter is serene, calm, flicking it's fingers through the pages of fate almost effortlessly - summer is heavy-set and big. It's all around, with that stench of Eventfulness. Pungent happenings of summer that sweat with me in the sweltering heat. Oh, cacophony. And winter is the long, deep breath taken in - summer is the scream.

I grow with my story. I grow while I loiter on this particular summer day and take in the wonder. The wonder of it all. The ceiling fan buzzing with my thoughts and words, a blender grinding noisily, the only sound I heard while I fell in and out of love with silence and things. And welding dreams made out of evening breezes in the summer heat, all in my head. An exasperated sigh, an almost-scream, frustrated words, all giving into the noise of it all. Karachi letting all voices loose as summer gallops through the city.

A lot has been happening. I told you. I told you I would grow. And so much more to come. My God created summer and everything beautiful and full of stories. And I take in other people's words, trace their outlines with my fingers, taste the words in my head and I know why there are cracks, why tears and sobs and desperation are trying to speak through them. I know because I link it all back to where I know all the Solutions reside - the heavens. I believe, I do. So I take it all in and resolve to remember that I have two hands and they are powerful when they come together and pray. My friend says that hands fascinate her. She says they can do things. She is right. I am fascinated too.

Lend a ear and listen. To the wind and to the people because they were all created wondrous. A stray word, the possibility of comfort out of nowhere (but we all know it's God that makes us listen). I bundled up everything that happened yesterday with some words and snippets of a conversation I overheard by the sofa. My ears registered some things: The Battle of Badar, things happening before that - bad things, constant struggle, never losing hope, glory. Mayooosi. Disappointment. Chase it away. Good things happen. Have faith.

For goodness and for wonder, I am infinitely grateful - I am infinitely blessed. It's a wonderful life. Colour. Noise. Summer.

Look around.

Thank you for listening.

Love,
Me. 

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