Dear You,
I've been meaning to write to you for a long time. I will make no excuses, and tell you that I only just built up the courage. Today has been good, it brought me laughter. Wonderful, warm laughter, the colour of love and of hope. And I took it all in, in large bites and breathed in the air while it was still ringing with joy and the winds were kind today because summer has taken to suffocate with me with words that I do not want to belong to me. And they take up the most space in my head and I dive head-first into the madness of my own being and I shed myself away until only I can hear me. I've always been quiet, serene to watching eyes and I will always will be. The chaos is inside and it will forever live there.
And I'm still trying to catch up with fate, while it brings me new stories and new people and other such universes. But I am thankful, I am, and I find infinity everywhere. I find it while resting my head against the window in a moving car and the infinite stories and secrets bundled in a corner of the roads, the houses, the very air that I take in. Then how could I be ordinary? How could you be ordinary? When we carry words at the tip of our tongues, and stories within our souls and gold carvings of love on our hearts - no, we could not be ordinary. Oh, these eyes have so much more to see and this soul has so much more to say and there is beauty in life, extra ordinary beauty, tragic beauty, and it is all for you and me. And don't you see the beauty in even our End being infinite? Oh, our ends, these words, our stories - praise be to God. This beauty can only belong to Him and it does and I am glad because I know He will keep it safe. And we will be alright. There is hope still, there is time still - it'll be okay.
Oh, I'll grow and grow and the heavens won't send down to me too great a burden to bear. What comes my way was always mine. Lingering piano notes in my ear and they let me hear what I want to, just like the wind. I'll be alright tonight, I have enough happiness to feed on. And I thank the heavens that I do and that there are beautiful people still. My prayers won't die down, no, they only grow stronger with time and with life. God will take me as I am, complete with my incoherence - I know He will. And I will grow and grow, and these hands will hold different things and touch different skins until they grow old and frail, but they'll still be mine and I will smile because I know that we made it through all of this madness and I was me all along. And I know now, that I will know then that I have strength and you have strength and it is great in magnitude and before you know it you'll be nearing the End, still breathing, still alive. You will smile and I will too, because we made it through all of this and we were always meant to get out alive until death greeted us with open arms. Oh, there is a greater plan - for you and for me.
Right now I do not care, for once I do not care if I sound beautiful but all I know is that I feel and I feel greatly and you've felt what I've felt, and I've felt what you've felt - and you're not alone because I know, I know that what it is, whatever it is, it is temporary and people can damage your knees and your elbows and even extend their reach to your heart. But they can never damage your soul and our souls and our sounds and our thoughts and our actions - that is what infinity is and God's infinity shall return to Him and Him alone. So it is alright. It's alright. There are mornings and there are sunrises and sunsets and plenty of words. And rain too, the smell of rain.
I am exhausted but my mind does not feel like it's going to erupt anymore and I have you to thank for that. For words, for prayer mats, for faith and for laughter, I am infinitely grateful. I am infinitely blessed.
Thank you for listening.
Love,
Me.
I've been meaning to write to you for a long time. I will make no excuses, and tell you that I only just built up the courage. Today has been good, it brought me laughter. Wonderful, warm laughter, the colour of love and of hope. And I took it all in, in large bites and breathed in the air while it was still ringing with joy and the winds were kind today because summer has taken to suffocate with me with words that I do not want to belong to me. And they take up the most space in my head and I dive head-first into the madness of my own being and I shed myself away until only I can hear me. I've always been quiet, serene to watching eyes and I will always will be. The chaos is inside and it will forever live there.
And I'm still trying to catch up with fate, while it brings me new stories and new people and other such universes. But I am thankful, I am, and I find infinity everywhere. I find it while resting my head against the window in a moving car and the infinite stories and secrets bundled in a corner of the roads, the houses, the very air that I take in. Then how could I be ordinary? How could you be ordinary? When we carry words at the tip of our tongues, and stories within our souls and gold carvings of love on our hearts - no, we could not be ordinary. Oh, these eyes have so much more to see and this soul has so much more to say and there is beauty in life, extra ordinary beauty, tragic beauty, and it is all for you and me. And don't you see the beauty in even our End being infinite? Oh, our ends, these words, our stories - praise be to God. This beauty can only belong to Him and it does and I am glad because I know He will keep it safe. And we will be alright. There is hope still, there is time still - it'll be okay.
Oh, I'll grow and grow and the heavens won't send down to me too great a burden to bear. What comes my way was always mine. Lingering piano notes in my ear and they let me hear what I want to, just like the wind. I'll be alright tonight, I have enough happiness to feed on. And I thank the heavens that I do and that there are beautiful people still. My prayers won't die down, no, they only grow stronger with time and with life. God will take me as I am, complete with my incoherence - I know He will. And I will grow and grow, and these hands will hold different things and touch different skins until they grow old and frail, but they'll still be mine and I will smile because I know that we made it through all of this madness and I was me all along. And I know now, that I will know then that I have strength and you have strength and it is great in magnitude and before you know it you'll be nearing the End, still breathing, still alive. You will smile and I will too, because we made it through all of this and we were always meant to get out alive until death greeted us with open arms. Oh, there is a greater plan - for you and for me.
Right now I do not care, for once I do not care if I sound beautiful but all I know is that I feel and I feel greatly and you've felt what I've felt, and I've felt what you've felt - and you're not alone because I know, I know that what it is, whatever it is, it is temporary and people can damage your knees and your elbows and even extend their reach to your heart. But they can never damage your soul and our souls and our sounds and our thoughts and our actions - that is what infinity is and God's infinity shall return to Him and Him alone. So it is alright. It's alright. There are mornings and there are sunrises and sunsets and plenty of words. And rain too, the smell of rain.
I am exhausted but my mind does not feel like it's going to erupt anymore and I have you to thank for that. For words, for prayer mats, for faith and for laughter, I am infinitely grateful. I am infinitely blessed.
Thank you for listening.
Love,
Me.
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