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Monday, February 27, 2012

A Letter To No One.

Dear You,

Couldn't I just be perfectly ordinary? Couldn't I just answer unasked questions with a smile and laugh at every joke that comes my way? I could listen and I could listen. I could look and I could look and sit cross-legged on familiar floors, in company of other crossed legs, and feel every bit of wonder hurled my way by pairs of eyes and animated hands that might not even know that they could be Great, and that they were created nothing less. That they share something truly amazing with people who were Great before them, and have been Great in their time - that they were created by God. And God? He wouldn't, couldn't create you and me anything less than wonderful. We can be Great, you know.

But I'd rather stroll on sidelines, let my gaze stray, smile once in a while and sit down with much grace, and with one of those beautiful sighs, that pretty girls in pretty movies sigh. Peace comes and it goes. And sometimes I'm the one closing doors on peace. Because I've known love, and known it by heart, but I choose to clothe it with misery when I need everything to sting. But I do not need everything to sting, and sometimes I can't make myself understand that. But God knows. He knows that I grow out of it. A better person each time. And how would I know about where to go if I do not go wrong. It is all quite alright. Wherever I'm going, I'm on my way.

God also knows that my heart grew ears when I sat cross legged yet again, last Saturday, but I was not required to speak. For I'd been hearing of reward and mistakes and of the people of Alhamdulilah. Those who struggle for their cause in rows after rows, and tower above them all like a Wall in all their being, never faltering. God knows that I have wanted, that I  have craved for the strength to be dignified in what I do and that my mind wanders again and again to the promises I'd been promised - the success of Now & Then. Infinite success. And I have longed for the courage to put up a good fight against all Bad that will not cease to grip me and my Good, and for the courage to struggle. I have wished for Infinite Success and I have wished for the courage to attain it. You and me, we could struggle and we could struggle for good. We could.

I believe in words, I believe in greatness. I believe in those pink-cotton candy clouds that cloud my brain every now and then to eventually make way for new words and sounds and thoughts and scents. A new day. I am grateful for new days and smiles. And I dreamt of losing the ability to sleep, so I must let the world know that for sleep and blankets and prayer rugs, I am infinitely blessed.

Thank you for listening.

Love,
Me.





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