Dear You,
Taj Bibi said to me as I left to give my Chemistry exam, "Acha karna, phusht (first) ana." ("Do well, and come first in class.") That was some serious bit of motivation and I really did do well, Alhamdulilah.
Some things go unspoken; the infinite bond you share between your siblings, for example. Shazra baji was leaving for the airport, and all I said at the door was, 'Boo you!' and all she said was 'You suck!' (and then we laughed, of course) but I knew it meant that she'd miss me just as much as I'd miss her. I hope she never reads this letter, though. We found a mic system upstairs a few days ago, and did not waste any time pondering over how nonsensical the nonsense was that we were singing, turning sad songs into rock songs and making up lyrics that did not make any sense whatsoever. Can you tell that I absolutely cannot wait to join her on Thursday, Insha'Allah? I thought so.
Ammi was sitting with an Aunty in the TV lounge a couple of days ago. The Aunty said, "Imtehaan tou sabhi kay hotay hain. Us imtehan main Allah ko yaad karna hi asal imtehan hay." ("Life tests everybody; and remembering Allah in those tests is the real test.")
If there's one thing I've learnt over the course of the past six months, it is that no matter what you do, no matter how much you want something, no matter how much you do not want something, what can and will crush everything in a matter of seconds and minutes and days and weeks, is God's will. Always and forever. I think it would be wise if we leave our will with God's will; I think it would be wise to stick to something that never fails.
My ringtone right now is a bird chirping. It makes everyone jump, especially at night. It's funny.
Pictures are strange. They leave traces of people who do not even live anymore, flood memories into your mind that you are careful to avoid, and the more forlorn the pictures become, the more precious they seems. There's a picture of me digging a sandcastle in a polka dot shirt and green shorts. I hope that the polka dot version of me is proud of what I have become, and I hope that the polka dot version of me is a little disappointed that I do not wear that shirt anymore.
A lot of things have happened in the last couple of weeks, but a week-old memory that never gets old is the memory of my friend, the FTSTBTF (Friend That Sees Tears Before They Fall), reading my English assignment and deciding to keep it.
Baba called today in the morning just to make sure that I was up and hadn't overslept on an exam day. There is always, always a reason to feel infinitely blessed.
Thank you for listening.
Love,
Me.
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