Dear You,
I have been in a dilemma of sorts lately, because I do not quite know how to feel. I feel like I could be quiet for the rest of my life and just Look. Just look; stare intently at a motorcycle whooshing by, or carefully observe a man examining a cricket bat right in the middle of a street. And I feel like I could quietly let thoughts consume me, all of me - then I could say a prayer and blow them out into the air; and my thoughts could be blown out petals of a sweet smelling rose, carried by the breeze because I let go of them. I find the courage to let them go, sometimes, you know. Consequently, they let go of me, all of me.
But that does not mean I do not have a million things to smile about. Because I do. You must know that I have been blessed with blessings that I recognize, not simply know. I always find myself in awe of how I feel a fair bit of difference between things I know and things I recognize. I recognize Baba's footsteps when they approach my room, I recognize the sound of the bell that rings exactly at eight 'o' clock every weekday, bringing in a regular visitor and I recognize the look of amusement playing across Shazra baji's face just before she cracks a ridiculous joke. Oh, to recognize all the little things, to call them mine, to miss them when they are not there and to not simply know them, but to know them by heart. It is all very wonderful, isn't it? It is, it is.
My friend's grandmother told me that winter would stay until March. I hope that she is right. I don't think I could ever hate winter or the silence that it brings. And I have to share a secret with you. You must promise not to laugh at it or think of it as juvenile. But I feel it so strongly, I really do. Dear You, I think I am growing old inside these sweaters and these socks. There, I said it. I don't mind it, really. It's a bit turbulent, but how can I be Great if I do not grow up? So it is quite alright. And I've found that everyone learns to live without things and people they are afraid to leave. Acceptance is kind, and it settles in and shakes your hand solemnly and waits for you to realize that you can, and must embrace it. And you do. It's inevitable, I think.
Every now and then, I hear something from someone that would make a great dialogue in a children's story book. It amazes me how the words that affect me the most, or make me smile, seem so very nonchalant. And I read somewhere how someone thought that all people were poets, and only a few wrote with words, and to tell you the truth, it is wonderful realizing that it is true. That people are walking, talking artists and some even walking, talking poems.
There is good in people, be sure of it. The Man Everybody In My College Screamed For When He Entered told the principal when he was on stage that he was willing to pay for someone who could not afford College education. Which reminds me, I have to tell you about the last dialogue of the Urdu play called 'Saiban' that took place in our auditorium. Bilal, a character who was initially depressed about the condition of the country and had made his decision to go to Canada to pursue his career, changed his decision in the end and said, "Apna saibaan aur apnee chath bhala koi chor kar jata hay?" ("Would anyone (want to) leave their shade and their home?") To which the audience that I was part of replied jubilantly, "Naheen!" It touched my heart. There is good. There is good in me, there is good in my country and its people.
God has been kind to me. Everyday, something comes along and makes me smile and everyday, I am reminded of how my efforts to be nice do not go to waste, however futile they may seem to me. Because God repays me with double the kindness, even if I do not deserve being repaid. And for that? I am infinitely grateful, I am infinitely blessed.
Thank You for listening.
Love,
Me.
I have been in a dilemma of sorts lately, because I do not quite know how to feel. I feel like I could be quiet for the rest of my life and just Look. Just look; stare intently at a motorcycle whooshing by, or carefully observe a man examining a cricket bat right in the middle of a street. And I feel like I could quietly let thoughts consume me, all of me - then I could say a prayer and blow them out into the air; and my thoughts could be blown out petals of a sweet smelling rose, carried by the breeze because I let go of them. I find the courage to let them go, sometimes, you know. Consequently, they let go of me, all of me.
But that does not mean I do not have a million things to smile about. Because I do. You must know that I have been blessed with blessings that I recognize, not simply know. I always find myself in awe of how I feel a fair bit of difference between things I know and things I recognize. I recognize Baba's footsteps when they approach my room, I recognize the sound of the bell that rings exactly at eight 'o' clock every weekday, bringing in a regular visitor and I recognize the look of amusement playing across Shazra baji's face just before she cracks a ridiculous joke. Oh, to recognize all the little things, to call them mine, to miss them when they are not there and to not simply know them, but to know them by heart. It is all very wonderful, isn't it? It is, it is.
My friend's grandmother told me that winter would stay until March. I hope that she is right. I don't think I could ever hate winter or the silence that it brings. And I have to share a secret with you. You must promise not to laugh at it or think of it as juvenile. But I feel it so strongly, I really do. Dear You, I think I am growing old inside these sweaters and these socks. There, I said it. I don't mind it, really. It's a bit turbulent, but how can I be Great if I do not grow up? So it is quite alright. And I've found that everyone learns to live without things and people they are afraid to leave. Acceptance is kind, and it settles in and shakes your hand solemnly and waits for you to realize that you can, and must embrace it. And you do. It's inevitable, I think.
Every now and then, I hear something from someone that would make a great dialogue in a children's story book. It amazes me how the words that affect me the most, or make me smile, seem so very nonchalant. And I read somewhere how someone thought that all people were poets, and only a few wrote with words, and to tell you the truth, it is wonderful realizing that it is true. That people are walking, talking artists and some even walking, talking poems.
There is good in people, be sure of it. The Man Everybody In My College Screamed For When He Entered told the principal when he was on stage that he was willing to pay for someone who could not afford College education. Which reminds me, I have to tell you about the last dialogue of the Urdu play called 'Saiban' that took place in our auditorium. Bilal, a character who was initially depressed about the condition of the country and had made his decision to go to Canada to pursue his career, changed his decision in the end and said, "Apna saibaan aur apnee chath bhala koi chor kar jata hay?" ("Would anyone (want to) leave their shade and their home?") To which the audience that I was part of replied jubilantly, "Naheen!" It touched my heart. There is good. There is good in me, there is good in my country and its people.
God has been kind to me. Everyday, something comes along and makes me smile and everyday, I am reminded of how my efforts to be nice do not go to waste, however futile they may seem to me. Because God repays me with double the kindness, even if I do not deserve being repaid. And for that? I am infinitely grateful, I am infinitely blessed.
Thank You for listening.
Love,
Me.
2 comments:
"Apna saibaan aur apnee chath bhala koi chor kar jata hay?"
Koi Bhi nahin. :')
I knew you'd agree. =)
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