Where?

Where is There? I would search it high & low,
Where is There? Only if you would care to show.
Where is There? I'd really like to know.
Where is There? But you let the suspense grow.
Where is There? It's the only place for me,
Where is There? Because you said it's where you'd always be.

I've been having so many disturbing dreams, especially about death. It's scaring me. :(

Wavering in and out of my dreams like a lost spirit

I find you where I cannot live,

And I live where I cannot find you.

Momentary illusions and you materialize for a while

But you cannot be

Here with me.

In eternal sleep you lie

So permanent in my thoughts.

Ghosts of memories and wafts of scents

that are almost non existent.

Those dreams; they pull me in.

Tie me down with chains

Until I need to scream:

Let me go.

How can it be a nightmare

When once you laughed with me

When once you took my hand and made me feel

Invincible.

And while I'm drifting off to sleep,

You catch me there.

When these eyes flutter open

In desperation, frustrations.

You're not any more.

And I could sit here all I want

counting down these

Three Sixty Five days

but you, you're still with me.

Emirates plays this on the plane, and I loved it.

Ordinarily Beautiful.

Taken every bit of love and tried to give it back,

I've always meant it well but I've stumbled on my track.

Nothing new, you've seen it all, every bit of me,

Commonly predictable, far-fetched, brilliant dreams.

At first sight, they look away, not turn a single head,

Careful with the words I say, with every way I tread.

Not spectacular, my eyes, my face, but my heart is well and fine,

Ordinary words I speak, that disappear in time.

Vulnerable, weak and strong, but I have held my faith,

I am a mixture of my thoughts and had my share of hate.

I cry at times, and I am flawed but I know my place in life,

I've made mistakes, and who's to say, I won't make them twice.

But past these faults and flaws, you'll see, a heart still beats in me,

And all it has (it has it all), my ordinary beauty.

If you ever learn to love it, you should know of this,

My mistakes are smaller than the love I have to give.

Sincere within myself, and a heart that's meaning well,

And a loving care to offer and some loving words to tell.

If you find it worth it, and if you care to see,

I'll give you all, and all I have - my ordinary beauty.

I'm crazy, wacko, weird, confusing, awkward and I've had my embarrassing moments. But I'm so lucky to have people in my life who will look past all of it and try to see the good in me. I love Allah ta'la for blessing me with such amazing people in my life. I love them all, Always & Forever.

Do not.

Polished floors and polished doors.

My glass of juice, a bag of crisps.

Hotel rooms and fancy beds.

Suites and sweets and lamps.

And a plastic toothbrush in a plastic pack,

Printed letters and they read:

Do not use if seal is broken.

An effortless smile.

I lie down on this comfy pillow.

A dreamy thought.

Do not love if heart is broken.

Do not use if seal is broken.

A warning of some sort.

Do not love if heart is broken.

A warning, a warning, a warning.

Seals break.

Hearts break.

But I still brush,

And I still love.

Then what of the warning?

Ah, to be human.

All their loss.

Those prying eyes, they bore into you, they search for every fall,

They think of things, they make you cringe, with all those names they call.

Assumptions and presumptions, they've rotted all their sense,

All for you, and you to blame, nothing to defend.

They don't see past what they want to see, they've stuck onto their thoughts,

They search and search, and find in you, whatever they have sought.

And then there's you, you're holding on, never seeming cross,

And that is where it's entirely, and wholly all their loss.

Illusion of a world.

I see people hurry and people run, walking to and fro,

I see them leashed inside this world, they come & stay & go.

In and out of concrete jungles - losing, catching breath,

Concrete gaze & concrete stomps, concrete hearts & heads.

They bustle through the busy streets, crowding every way,

Delayed trains, delayed lives, delayed words to say.

It's cold out here, the stares, the wind - swirl and whirl and twirl,

We live, we thrive, we live again in an illusion of a world.

“Have you ever wondered what a human life is worth? That morning, my brother’s was worth a pocket watch."

Or a Wallet. I miss you, Phuppa Jan. <3