I raise the window shutter and can vaguely make out the cluster of lights in the distance. I lay back in my seat, close my eyes, and heave a sigh. I stare blankly at myself on the TV screen fitted on the back of the seat in front of me. Much to my surprise, I feel nothing as yet. Expressionless. Emotionless.

I look out again. The lights are glinting clearly now. Hundreds, thousand, millions of those lighted dots.

The city of lights.

Those hundreds, thousands, millions of lighted dots - one by one they grow into buildings, tall & short. I can see some going out occasionally.

Power's out.

I lay back on my seat again, as if almost waiting to feel something. Anything. I close my eyes and here comes a flash of blurry memories of the place I just left. Ringing laughter, a piercing cry, ballistic shouts, smiles, grave faces and happy ones, familiar scents & sights, tall buildings, the loudness of the silence - everything.

Which one is home? Here or There?

The captain's announcement echoes through out the plane & into my thoughts. He tells us to fasten our seat belts, that we would land in fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes. Such measured time. The words "fifteen minutes" start ringing in my head over and over again. I finally feel something.

Remorse, regret, fear, contempt, panic, terror.

Tears blurs my view from the little, round window. I hold them back. A child behind me cries with delight, "Maybe I can see our house from here!"

I feel something again.

Pride, joy, safety, love, compassion, relief.

My confused thoughts are disturbed by my sister nudging me and pointing towards the window with a big smile. The view has got clearer & we should be closer to the ground. The airhostess conducts a final check, and then another announcement echoes through out the plane.

Prepare for landing.

I become oblivious to everything as I observe the air plane glide lower & lower and lower still.

I'm here.

Even lower.

I'm really here.

The plane wheels finally hit the ground with a deafening sound, as if the sound of the reality. Everyone sits up with broad smiles. The cabin crew wishes us a pleasant stay.

Yes, I'm here to stay.

Another announcement. The captain tells us goodbye. The kid behind me yells again, "Goodbye, ta ta, allah hafiz! Can we go now?"

We board off the plane. As soon as we exit the airport, a large header reads, "Karachi - the port of Pakistan."

This is definitely home. I'm home.