I've found that when you put your whole life in God's hands, which by the way should be the case in the first place, it all falls into pieces. You don't have to look further than the prayer mat to find the peace you need. When you tell yourself via the little voice in your head (that has it's spontaneous moments, and planted that idea in your head to tell yourself this anyway) that God will make it work out, that there is no way in hell you will not make it through, that God would want the best for you, and that he will and always will make it work out for anything that ever existed - it all makes sense. You can smile again knowing He's up there planning what he has planned. He is the best of planners. And when you give your whole life into His hands, you can make sense out of every bit. You can see the end line of everything, and know that wherever the end line, where ever the end line, something good will come out of this. It always does. And your role in the whole process is to just let Him lead you. But you can't be leaded if you don't chose to, can you? I mean, if you run away from what He wants, and go for what you want, you'll get what you never wanted. Which means you'll have to go His path, instead of yours. And His path IS your path in the first place.

Okay. I just wrote down what the little voice in my head was telling me, and it worked again. I understand it now. No running away. Ever. (Read: I'll try.) Inshallah. I love you, little voice in my head.