Dear You,
Please trust me on this. I know I'm just 14, and I don't know any thing about that kind of stuff, but I just want you to know that Allah ta'la will never leave you abandoned. Either he will make you fall to catch you, or make you lost to find you; I just know that. I want to tell you to speak your heart to them. Don't let anyone's pressure make the decision that is yours. And I want you to know that this thread will never remain jumbled up for long. It will smooth itself out, and and you'll get to the end before you know it. Just hold on to the beginning of that thread, because you know there's got to be an end, even though you might have to go through the jumbled up bunch. I promise it will be okay. Because how can Allah ta'la not have it turn out okay when you've prayed so much to him. Baba always says when he raises his hands to Allah ta'la and cries for help, he always helps in the end. And all that is in between is nothing but trial. And Ammi always tells me that Allah ta'la gives all these trials to his people to test them. Well, you already know that, but what I'm trying to say is, there are things in store for you, do your best and then leave it to Allah, he will make it work out. He always does.
I don't even know why I'm typing this out, I don't know, I just kind of know what those feelings are, and it's horrible to be in the dark. But for every dark, there is a light, so there will be one for this too, and it may even be yourself. Really, even though it might not work out right now.....it's going to be okay.
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