Day 6.

Your best friend.

I think there might be three.

Sarah & Marium. I consider them one because one would not be complete without the other. I love them. If the people at school saw me when I'm with them they would run screaming out the door. Literally. Until last year, we were just cousins. You know, the kind that felt it was wrong to take the last cookie off the plate while we were sitting next to each other. The kind that had to share the bag of chips when accompanying each other. The kind that felt shame in insulting each other. But over the last year, everything changed. Somewhere along the line, we started pushing and fighting over the last cookie left, Marium started calling me idiot at every other thing, and I call them paglots for no reason at all, we started to share each other's lives, and somewhere along the line, we became friends, and steal food off each other's plates now. Sarah has been there through out my life. As kids, we were enemies behind our backs, and had to act like besties in front of each other. But we were still friends. We've been friends since forever but last year brought something different. It evolved into the kind of friendship where you could cry more for the person than the person cried for themselves. We got into a lot of trouble together, and we made our way out. When I'm with them I'm me and no one else, and that's HUGE for me. And they know EVERYTHING. From Kimmi Kebabis to Pokie bears, they know everything, and from Abhiabhi to FrequentlyAskedQuestions, I know everything. I love every inch of their existence, and I think if it weren't for them, I would be a sad, sad person. I don't know how to put in words how much they've been there, and how much anger I feel at anyone who tries to hurt them. All I know is they are complete retards, and I love them to death.

Kitkat: Kitkat is awesome like no other person. She's talented, she's creative and she's awesome to talk to. I think she doesn't think that much of herself, but as for me, I think all the world of her. You know how you can distinguish all the fakeness with the really great friendships you have? Yeah, it's that kind. I could never have asked for a better sister-friend, and even though she sometimes doesn't know, all the conversations are a huge, huge distraction from all that's been going on lately. The kind of distraction that you're extremely grateful for to God. The kind of distraction that takes away all of it for a while and leaves you a feeling on the surface that surges you further. If she could see poetry from my point of view, she'd see how much I love her as a writer, and that how you can feel they come straight from the depths of the heart when you read them. I don't think I'd be writing as much as I am if it weren't for her, and I'm so, so grateful for that. Like, I wouldn't have a outlet at all. To be quite honest, when I first started blogging I didn't feel all that comfortable with my feelings, I wanted to hide all of it. Then slowly as I saw her write ups, I learnt that it was okay to feel what I felt, and I then I started writing about what I really felt. She's mostly the reason why writing has been there for me when no one else has. She's helped me discover myself, and again, I cannot thank her enough for that. I don't even know what I'd do without all those crazy conversations, and I love every single word of them. She's amazing and I just wish she knew that. And I'm not just, like, saying this. Or because she reads this blog. Or because she might read this. Because you'll find waffle hearts, ninja nerd drawings and boogey boogey ghost doodles across many of the pages on my notebooks. I love my sister.

H. I might lie to myself sometimes, but I know you are a best friend. I might tell myself I don't care, but I know I do. And I might tell myself I'm not going to miss you, but I am. You are the only, only reason I even have friends at school. But some things just bother me, and I don't like when you say I've changed, I've just started standing up for myself, and I've stopped liking to be used and taken advantage of. You don't know anything now, but once you did, and all the same, you'll never know the truth, and I'll continue to be there for you, there to hide you sitting in the chair next you while you hide your tears from the rest of the class, and I'll continue to care wether I like it or not. I just wish I was me around you, and not the innocent, quiet kid I act like, or rather can't help being. I just wish you knew that I feel extremely lonely in class and I just wish you'd see that I'm not what you think I am, and I just wish you wouldn't expect me to do what you don't do yourself. But all the same, I know you're extremely smart, and I know if you knew anything at all, you'd care. Maybe one of these days I'll have the courage to tell you. I love you because I think you might love me.