I contemplate, I look within.

On sidelines - eyes that merely see,

With hands that move but aren't free,

I see, I watch, I take it in,

I'm looking at those smiles and grins,

I contemplate, I look within -

I find it's a different world inside.

Join hands with those that reach out to me,

I laugh and feel the ecstasy,

I see some cry in their despair,

I don't see them, I know they're there,

And I contemplate, I look within -

I find they're hidden in me.

Lighted faces and joyous screams,

Happiness bursting out the seams,

I'm going there, I'm on my way,

I'm going to turn around the day,

I contemplate, I look within..

and I find..

I...depend on me.

Our family could be a reality TV show! Seriously!! xD

More than what we do.

Sometimes I find,

That Life..

Is a matter of

what we choose not to do

More than

what we do.

The perks of being a wallflower.

Just finished reading that PDF.

It was amazing. Like Charlie says, since it is the last book I read, it is my favorite.

It was also amazing how much I could relate to Charlie, even in the smallest of ways.

I also liked how Charlie liked to begin his sentences with 'And' and didn't really use big, fancy words to decorate his writing, because I loved his simple sentences.

Most of all, I liked how Charlie wrote 'honestly'. Just events put forth. Right in the readers face for him or her to comprehend. It was simply honest. And it was the best part.

Here's one of the paragraphs at the end:

But it's like when my doctor told me the story of these two brothers whose dad was a bad alcoholic. One brother grew up to be a successful carpenter who never drank. The other brother ended up being a drinker as bad as his dad was. When they asked the first brother why he didn't drink, he said that after he saw what it did to his father, he could never bring himself to even try it. When they asked the other brother, he said that he guessed he learned how to drink on his father's knee. So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them. I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad. Just like what my sister said when I had been in the hospital for a while. She said that she was really worried about going to college, and considering what I was going through, she felt really dumb about it. But I don't know why she would feel dumb. I'd be worried, too. And really, I don't think I have it any better or worse than she does. I don't know. It's just different. Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam said. Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them.

And my favourite sentence he used in the whole book?

"And that was that."

Well, atleast this day is over. =/

Here's hoping for a much better tomorrow, Inshallah. =)

Day afta tomorrow gonna be epic tho. =) Looking forward to to that so muchhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I get too caught up in myself, and every little thing seems to affect me. But I don't understand why I forget how frustrated I get when I mean the best of people but end up doing the wrong things. I don't understand why I forget that whatever a person does is for a reason. I don't understand why it is that whenever I tell that to myself in a 'situation', I tend to hold on to what is upsetting me instead of listening to myself. I don't understand why in those moments I'm down I don't want to lift myself. Instead I just think of all the things upsetting me, when infact I could just let them go, think with a level head, analyze the other person's situation and move ahead instead of clinging on to the bad. I don't understand why I have the tendency to do that. Why, when I'm down I look for more reasons to down myself even more. Why I don't think every person has a reason for what they do and it's not just about me. It's so selfish of me. Moments ago, I was doing exactly that. So whenever I catch myself doing that, I'm going to write, and convince myself it's not just about me. It's about the people around me. It's about realizing that if they upset me, they don't know what I'm feeling. If they knew, they would never mean to do anything.

Thankyou, writing. You always save me from myself.

You'll find answers.

Sweat and blood engraved in stones,

Of this story that we built.

Now falling bricks and falling stones,

And cries and hounds that fill.

When you stop to ask yourself,

What brought it to its doom,

You'll find the answers you're searching for

In memories that still loom.

Day 3.

Day 3 —Write about the worst time you’ve ever put your foot in your mouth.

I excel on doing this at a daily basis. So.

The worst was probably with G1 & G2.

They asked me a simple question. I could have given a simple answer. But I did not. Instead I felt the pressure of the situation, I felt the pressure of the question and I blurted out a simple "Yes," at which they laughed at. I don't know why, I get tensed when somebody asks me a question. I'm always afraid of saying something stupid, and do exactly that in the process.

In that moment, my insides clenched and I could feel the tension rising within myself as the stares grew more fixed. So I said Yes. I simply cannot think of answers other than what I'm saying to myself, the truth. If I can't tell them the truth, I can't tell them anything anymore. Lying about anything has ended up in worse results. And this was lying. I said YES. And I was laughed at. It was horrible. I don't know how anyone could have been half as stupid as I was.

Before you judge me.

I may not be the soothing ocean, vastness of the seas,

But I am the calming breeze that blows, trying to set you free.

I may hide in places, so secretive in my lair,

But you should know, I'm hiding, but I am always there.

I may not be a wall so strong, protecting you from harm,

But I shall help you build that wall in all grief, in all alarm.

I may not have the power to break whatever comes and breaks you,

But I shall help you pick the debris, I will help you though.

I may not be a raging fire, dominant over all,

But I'll be the needed water, I'll help you through your falls.

I'll be your sun, I'll be your shine, I'll be the love in all your letters,

Before you judge me by what I look, just think, I might be better.

Happy Birthday Boom Boom. You're a true Pathan and I have new found love for you. =D It's because somehow... you inspire. I like that. =)